It's only just occurred to me, writing this, how apt my story "The World in a Bottle" is for the times. I could easily be accused of writing a pandemic story - it's about someone trapped in a simulation, the bottle of the title - but it wasn't deliberate. The story was written in January 2020, just before the pandemic struck.

Anyway, go read it at Nature Futures.

It's coming up on a year in lockdown now. At some point along the way I stopped waiting for things to go "back to normal" and just accepted that this is the new normal, and I've been happier since. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect to remain in lockdown forever (although we might, if the Tories keep bloody opening things early and causing cases to spike), but I don't think things will ever go back to the way they were before. At the very least I think masks will be around for a while, and possibly social distancing in public places since I suspect many people are going to discover an intense dislike of crowds going forward.

For me, accepting this as the new normal has meant some lifestyle changes. I learned to cut my own hair, and it's good enough to get me by since I hate having really long hair, although I haven't been brave enough to attempt my blue-purple dye job at home. I've bought a breadmaker since I'm sick of running out of bread at the weekends, and a step machine so I can get some exercise in. Overall we've got better about home cooking. Since our groceries arrive once a week and we can't just pop to the shop for when we run out of something or fancy dinner out, we're roasting up our leftover vegetables once a week and using them as a base for the next few days' meals. We're not being particularly adventurous, since cooking at the end of a working day is still a chore and not a pleasure, but we are eating better overall.

Working from home has turned out to have unexpected benefits. Early last year my employer asked everyone for their opinions on home working, and I said I didn't think I'd particularly like it, but it turns out I love it. I was worried about losing the routine of working in the office, but I'm perfectly capable of keeping that going at home - the getting ready for work routine is exactly the same except for an extra hour in bed and no commute. It helps that we each have a dedicated space to work in, and I always make sure to be dressed, even if I'm dressed down. That's not to say I haven't worked in my dressing gown a few times, if I'm feeling low or it's been particularly cold, but I'm in clothes underneath and not my PJs.

The thing that's really helped is not having the commute, and that's something I'm hearing from a lot of colleagues. It wasn't until that was removed that people really realised just how much stress it was causing them - whether with traffic and finding somewhere to park, or rushing to catch crowded public transport.

That's not to say everything's come up peaches. Mental health has been a big concern and both of us have struggled at times. It helped that we set ground rules early about asking for and giving each other space, and letting the other person know if we're having a bad day or are likely to be particularly snappy. It's helped to keep things from escalating into arguments, where before we might have taken the other person's bad mood personally.

I'm going on social media less often now, since Facebook and Twitter are mostly relentless firehoses of negativity, although I'm keeping up with other online connections like forums since it's easier to control what I'm exposed to and have actual conversations. Something I wasn't expecting is to be less interested in watching TV and movies. There are a few things I'm keen to keep up with or rewatch, but mostly I find it a bit dull and am reading or playing computer games instead - things I'd been doing less off. (Although we are planning a full rewatch of Supernatural before we get to season 15 on DVD).

I'm writing more, having tailed off to pretty much nothing by the end of last year. Part of that is the annual reset (I take December off and then hit January running) but hopefully it's also a sign that things have settled enough that I can plough on. My novel was abandoned early last year, and I wrote little apart from a handful of pretty dark poems and some fanfiction. I want to keep doing that, but also pick up with longer works and turn around some projects that have been languishing on my harddrive for far too long.

Of course I said I was going to take on new things last year, too...

In a normal year I may (or may not) have spent this week posting from Swanwick Writers' Summer School. But of course it's not a normal year, so Swanwick was cancelled and instead I'm stuck at home. I still have the week off (because the only thing more depressing than no Swanwick is having to work when I should have been there). In theory I'm using it as a writing week, but in practice I've lost three days already to a poorly cat, a bad mental health day, and food poisoning.

I've managed to get my submissions up to date, worked on the e-book version of Conversations with Dragons, and written a little bit. There are still a few Swanwick activities going on, run by volunteers, so I've been checking in every morning for a chat over coffee. I keep meaning to work on some short stories but it's hard to get motivated when it's so flipping warm! I'm mostly playing computer games, watching The Mandalorian, and posting on online roleplays if I'm honest.

I haven't updated for a while because, as I mentioned in April, time is pudding at the moment.

Work laptops arrived in May so we've been working from home for a couple of months now. While the routine is helpful - we'd both be nocturnal otherwise - it's also very difficult to not feel like the routine is all there is. We're somewhat lucky because we can at least separate off our workspace from regular life, but work itself is harder than ever because circumstances seem to be bringing out the worst in people.

I barely wrote anything in July other than fanfic, although I did get a new piece of flash done. It's hard to focus, and my go-to activity at the moment is playing my way through the whole of Zeus: Master of Olympus, one Ancient Greek city at a time. I'm trying to keep at least one book on the go, because between writing, reading, and play by post roleplaying, it's all that's getting my head out of the house at the moment.

"Do you really want to know what's going on?... Boom. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom. Boom! Have a nice day." - Susan Ivanova

The episode opens with a recap of what happened in part 1 - namely the reawakening of Epsilon 3 and a large ship coming through the jump gate. The ship turns out to be Starship Hyperion, a heavy cruiser sent by Earth to take control of the situation and ownership of the technology on the planet below. Since Babylon 5 is neutral territory, Earth feels that all of the other races will want a part of what was found. Captain Pierce is there to make sure it doesn't happen with a show of force.

Sinclair's authority being questioned or usurped is a recurring theme in the show, happening at least four times already in this season with the most recent example being Eyes only three episodes before (two if you count the two-parter as a single episode). As usual, he pushes back. He speaks to Senator Hidoshi to demand clarification of the situation - he was promised he had the final authority over the sector, and threatens to resign in protest. Given the number of people trying to wrest control from him, and the awkward political situations he's caused, this doesn't seem like the best plan.

Pierce sends fighters down from the Hyperion, which are stopped by the planet's defence systems which are escalating in response to the threat. Sinclair buys time by telling Pierce that his own shuttle only got to the surface by using a jamming device. It delays Pierce, but now they have a bigger problem: the approach of the fighters triggered further earthquakes. In 48 hours they'll cause the planet's advanced fusion reactors to blow and the explosion will take Babylon 5 with it. Evacuating the station will take at least five days.

Pierce, being a typical Earthforce knucklehead, decides to send further fighters down. Sinclair responds by announcing a planetary blockade - any ships trying to land will be shot down by Babylon 5's own fighters. It solves the immediate problem, but then a strange ship comes through the jump gate. The captain announces himself as Takarn, whose people have been searching for the planet for 500 years and claim it belongs to them. All others must move aside within ten hours or be destroyed.

Pierce's response is to give Takarn nine hours to withdraw.

Things are just as explosive on Mars. President Santiago has sent shock troops to subdue the rebellion. Watching the news in a bar, Garibaldi overhears a customer calling for Mars to be nuked and assaults him. Sinclair later finds him to give a gentle reprimand, and Garibaldi admits that uncertainty over the fate of old girlfriend Lise caused him to snap. Sinclair makes him a deal: he'll call in some favours to get Garibaldi a clear channel to Mars, if Garibaldi promises to make sure that if the station is evacuated Ivanova is on the last ship out.

Draal hears Varn, the Epsilon 3 alien, calling to him just as Sinclair and Londo did before. He visits medlab where the ever skeptical Doctor Franklin tells him the patient is comatose and couldn't possibly have been sending him messages. However Varn wakes and confirms what Sinclair has already guessed - the defences on Epsilon 3 are escalating because the machine no longer has a "heart".

Varn reveals Takarn's people were cast out centuries ago by the race that built the machines. He has been one with the machine for 500 years, but now he's dying. Sinclair, Draal, and Londo all saw him call to them. He can't ask directly, but one of them must replace him. Delenn wonders why he chose these three, and Draal suggests that is was "Perhaps because we are familiar with the third principle of sentient life", the capacity for self-sacrifice. Draal and Sinclair seem obvious choices, Londo less so. It's only later we'll see the lengths he'll go to for his people, and perhaps that the machine chooses him now is an indication that - despite what's to come - he's not yet at the point where he'll make terrible choices.

Delenn, Draal, and Londo take Varn back to the planet, leaving Sinclair behind. Their shuttle sparks a battle, with Takarn firing on the Hyperion and Babylon 5 wading in to support the Earth Force ship. Garibaldi grabs another shuttle and goes after them thinking Varn has been kidnapped. What he finds when he gets there is Draal preparing to go into the machine. Draal plugs in and announces to the warring factions that the machine belongs to none of them. He trusts the Babylon 5 Advisory Council to ensure Epsilon 3 is left alone until the time is right, but that if this can't be managed the planet will defend itself against all comers. Of course Takarn doesn't listen and is destroyed.

It's a definite deus-ex-machina ending, but one that's earned by what goes before.

Varn assures Delenn that he'll spend his remaining days watching over Draal, who will see wonders in the heart of the machine - "He will see all the tomorrows. Hear all the songs. Touch the edge of the universe with his thoughts". Sad to lose a friend, but glad he's found a purpose, Delenn quotes the third principle of sentient life back to Draal and says goodbye.

With Epsilon 3 now off limits, the Hyperion leaves and Pierce apologises to Sinclair for overstepping. Sinclair goes to tell Garibaldi contact has been made with Lise. She informs Garibaldi she's married now, and expecting a child. It seems like a damp squib of a plotline, except that Lise will be important later.

Most of the ways the episode ties into the wider plot aren't obvious - both Lise and Epsilon 3 are guns being put into drawers for later. However the episode doesn't feel completely disconnected as it links back to the mystery surrounding Sinclair. Garibaldi asks Delenn why they took Varn in secret, without telling the commander. She replies that if she had Sinclair would now be in the machine, but his destiny lies elsewhere. She also now owes Londo a favour for piloting the shuttle to the surface, and is sure he will collect. He does, but not until season three. While it's not an obvious lynchpin at first, viewed in hindsight this episode is essential in building future arcs.

Not much of an update for April. I'm avoiding the news and being careful about social media because it's too easy to disappear down the rabbit hole and end up depressed and anxious. I've been mostly reading and watching DVDs, and writing some fanfiction. There's a long list of other things to do (DIY, baking, housework, online courses), but the days seem to mostly turn to pudding.

Luna Station Quarterly has posted up an interview about "On the Cusp of Darkness" which was published in March.

Late again, because there's a lot going on isn't there?

We have a few cases of coronavirus locally, but nothing major as yet. My day job is working up to being able to have people working from home, but in the meantime I'm stuck taking public transport in every day under dystopian signs about hand washing.

Since last posting I finished up the contest with eight stories. Three are already out on submission although I expect two of them to be hard sells because they're a bit more experimental (first person plural, and second person list stories, anyone?). Three more are on the pile for editing. One's been trunked because it's a just-for-fun piece of fluff written just to get something done, and the last turned out to be back story for a novel.

Said novel is my current main project. It's a old piece of work, and I've basically stripped out an entire plotline and everything except bare bones plot and a couple of main characters from what remains. I have around 10,000 words of opening chapters, notes, and backstory written since January and aim to finish by the end of the year. I'm also keeping a short story or poem deadline on the go each month in case I get stuck. The aim is to keep some forward momentum even if it's not on the same project.

I've also had two reprints published:
"Dark Ghosts and Flamingos" at The New Accelerator
It was mid-week and still too early for paying customers. I was watching the vidscreen at the Stray Cat show programs about Earth, and wishing I’d never left.

and "On the Cusp of Darkness" at Luna Station Quarterly
It was the cusp of dawn when I reached the village, that strange half-light before the sun reaches the horizon. Early enough to show my allegiance, late enough not to offend the villagers’ sensibilities. They were rarely welcoming to those who knocked on their doors in the dark hours.

Apparently I forgot to update (and it's late now as Christmas has come and gone), but "A Night of Many Months" went up at Pseudopod on Christmas Day. I need to write some more dark Christmas stories, as I enjoy them, but there are only so many ways you can torture Santa. I have a couple more things forthcoming, but no idea on when they'll be published so I'm not announcing them for the time being.

Tentative plans made for this year, and none of them involve wordcount.

The first is to be more proactive about keeping track of deadlines, to which end I have a wall calendar on which I write them as I find them, and a running list in my bullet journal of the ones for the current and following month. The plan is to pick a deadline to write for each month, which should net me 12 new or completed pieces of work by the end of the year (January's deadline being to finish editing a poem I drafted last year).

I'm currently taking part in a writing contest over at my online writing group, the aim of which is to produce a new piece of flash every week for five weeks, and another side project with a similar goal. So far this year I've written three stories, one of which is fine as flash and another that needs to be worked into something longer. The third, this week's entry, is awaiting judgement.

The trick will be not to lose momentum when the flash challenge finishes next month, and I think the key will be having so many pieces on the go, in various stages of development, that I'm never stuck with nothing to work on.

I also plan to restart with the Babylon 5 blog posts (without letting them take the place of actual writing), because I did enjoy doing them before I got overwhelmed with stuff. And I need to figure out what I'm doing with my novella, because I'd like to finish it, but clearly working from an outline wasn't working as it killed any love I had for it. I suspect writing the first draft at speed over a short period of time is the way to go, but it's a long time until NaNoWriMo.

It's been a busy couple of months and I still haven't caught up with Babylon 5.

Now I've signed the contract, I can share that I've sold the reprint of "A Night of Many Months" to Pseudopod, although I'm not sure yet when it will be out.

In October I went to Bristolcon, my first SFF con experience. I enjoyed the panels and workshops I attended, and meeting new people, but it was heavy on the socialising (as these things are) which I found very tiring after a while. Especially after getting on the train to Bristol at 7am. It was nice to hang around with other writers for a while, and the entertainment was excellent (ever seen a string quartet play while doing the can can?), but I probably should have gone to bed half an hour, maybe even an hour, earlier and by the time I hit my room I was having a full-blown anxiety attack brought on by overtiredness, poor hydration, erratic eating, and too much input in a short space of time.

So, mixed feelings. I enjoyed it and would probably go again, but don't feel the travel and expense of a longer con, or one further away, would be worth it. I definitely won't be doing Worldcon any time soon!

During the course on Finishing Your Novel, I committed to finishing a novella by the end of November. It's a full rework of an older project, so I have a pretty good idea of where it's going, but then I got sidetracked by a story I'd been stuck on - which was an altogether more appealing prospect than slogging my way through an ill-advised outline (although it was an interesting experiment). Then I got sidetracked by projects at home, and preparing for Christmas, and haven't finished either.

I've got some time off over Christmas, so I'm going to spend the time making plans for next year. There are several projects that need time and attention, and I've got several online courses from The Rambo Academy for Wayward Writers to finish. The days when I could rattle out several thousand words a week are long gone - I no longer have the time or energy (free Thursdays not having panned out so far which is something else to address in the new year), so need to get the best out of what I do have.

Taking a hiatus on the Babylon 5 posts due to a family emergency, but hope to be back with them in a week or two once the routine and energy levels even out again. At the moment I'm not up to much beyond going to work, and watching repeats of The Great British Bake Off on Netflix.

There has been some writing news. My story "Armistice War", which was published in the Flame Tree Press newsletter in June is now available on their website for non-subscribers. "In Search of Camanac" has been reprinted in the anthology Pioneers and Pathfinders, and the overall table of contents looks fantastic. I've sold another reprint, to a market I'm excited to break into, but I'm waiting for the contract before I make it public.

This year is turning out to be a lean year in terms of writing output. I've written some poems, some for publication and some just for fun, but not much new fiction. It's frustrating, and I'm wondering how I've got to October already without doing any of the things I planned. Sometimes it just turns out that way so I'm trying not to beat myself up about it. I should be reclaiming a handful of hours to write each week, due to a shift in my working hours, so hopefully that will help. If not, at least it's nearly the new year already and I can start again.